It can be argued that the closer the relationship, the greater the emotional involvement. And where there are strong feelings, there are conflicts. Disputes in relationships are therefore a common phenomenon and do not necessarily indicate a crisis in the relationship. On the contrary, wise discussions and joint search for compromises can strengthen the relationship. Wondering how to better understand the other person? Here are some proven tips.
The most important thing is to stay calm
Conflict in a relationship can lead to frustration and anger. It is easy to get carried away and to say things you will later regret. Therefore, if you feel that you are about to explode, you can tell your partner and stop the discussion until you have both cooled down. This will prevent the conflict from escalating and the other person will appreciate that you want to talk about the problem calmly.
Don’t count on the other party guessing
This is probably the most common problem in relationships. You think that because your partner loves you, they should know how you feel. Unfortunately, a relationship between people doesn’t work that way. That’s why it’s important to be clear about your feelings and not leave things unsaid. It is also a good idea to ask the other party questions about their feelings – this will prevent many misunderstandings and strengthen your relationship, and your interest will definitely be noticed.
Give in just a little
You may think that you are always right and your arguments are the most important. However, the other side also has its reasons and it is worth listening to them. Consider whether you can’t give in a little and at least partially agree with your partner. Even if you think your other half is completely wrong, consider whether the issue you are arguing about is more important than the welfare of your relationship. Couples tend to argue about things that are completely irrelevant in the bigger picture.
Avoid large quantifiers
During an argument, it often gets to the point where you start throwing around phrases like “because you always…/and you never…”? This is a very bad habit. It turns the conversation into a hurtful bidding war over whose behavior is worse. It’s better to bring up specific examples of upsetting behavior, explain why it was inappropriate, and talk about your expectations of your partner in the situation. You may find that it’s not out of ill will, but just ignorance
Find a thread of agreement
When arguing your case, it’s a good idea to find points that you both agree on. Determine what is the overarching idea in the argument that you both agree with. It may be that you want the same thing, but you are going about it in different ways. In that case, listen to each other and work out a strategy together to achieve your goal
Think about what really upset you
In most cases, you can prevent an argument if you assess what is causing your feelings. We often accumulate tension over a long period of time – stress at work, tiredness, over-commitment and lack of sleep can cause a small spark to cause a huge explosion. Therefore, instead of starting a fight over the proverbial scattered socks, it is better to take a deep breath and think whether you are really upset about the other person’s behavior or if it is just a bad day.
Think about what you are trying to achieve and why
Conflict in a relationship often has an underlying cause. For example, it could be insufficient attention. However, it is never a good idea to start an argument to get attention. Yes, it can sometimes have the desired effect, but if this behaviour is repeated, the other party will become tired and irritated. No one wants to be constantly wondering what it is that is going to upset you today.
Respect your partner
People usually have a big problem with admitting a mistake and acknowledging someone else’s right. That’s why it’s important to give the other party a chance to come out of the situation with a face during the conversation. Do not boast of your “victory” and humiliate your partner, even if you are clearly right. You can hurt the other person badly in this way.
Good communication is the foundation of a successful relationship. However, this does not mean that disagreements will not occur between partners. It is crucial to understand your own emotions and make it easier for the other person to do so as well. You should always remember to respect your partner’s feelings and not get carried away by them. Disagreements can lead to getting to know yourself and the other person better. Sometimes they also help to develop new methods of communication and strengthen the relationship.